Inspired by Emma Watson’s heart-to-heart with Jay Shetty on his On Purpose podcast, I penned this blog post. Her courage in sharing her journey of challenging societal norms struck a chord with me. Emma’s insight into how we often reduce life’s complexities to rigid binaries—this or that, black or white—resonated deeply. Her story of soul-searching and inner work inspired me to explore these themes further. Join me as we delve into some nuances that make life so beautifully unpredictable.
I highly recommend listening/watching the whole thing through
Love. It’s a word soaked in romance and adorned with fairy tale endings, yet its essence often eludes us. We’ve been fed a steady diet of Disney romances and Hollywood love stories, where the ultimate goal seems to be “falling in love.” But what happens after the credits roll? What about the journey beyond the first kiss or the wedding vows? In the real world, love is far more complex and dynamic. It’s a dance, a partnership, and sometimes, a battlefield where the stakes are high, and the rewards are profound.
For many of us, the concept of love was shaped by childhood fantasies—those sweet, letter-writing romances that seemed so perfect. But as we step into adulthood, reality hits. Real love involves navigating through misunderstandings, learning the art of conflict, and finding someone willing to dance the intricate dance of life with you. It’s about making someone feel safe—not just physically but emotionally. It’s about the little things, like responding to a text promptly or knowing when to give space. It’s about compatibility and vulnerability, the willingness to make micro-adjustments in the relationship dance.
In my own journey, I’ve come to realise that love is more about the everyday choices we make. It’s not just about the initial spark but about finding someone who is willing to engage in this never-ending dance of checking in, adjusting, and evolving together. This understanding is far removed from the binary notion of love many of us grow up with.
Jay Shetty and Emma Watson delve into this topic beautifully in their conversation on the “On Purpose” podcast. They explore how love is not about one person leading and another following, but about both partners engaging in a mutual exchange of teaching and learning. It’s a dance where humility is key—a humility that allows one to be taught without feeling led or misled. This kind of love is deeply fulfilling, as it challenges us and makes us grow.
Emma’s reflections resonate with many of us who have grappled with societal expectations, especially the persistent question, “Why aren’t you married yet?” This question often carries the implication that one’s worth is tied to their marital status. Yet, Emma’s insights remind us that marriage and partnership are not the ultimate markers of success. They are not benchmarks that validate one’s existence. Instead, love and partnership should be choices made from a place of wholeness and understanding of oneself.
In a world that often pressures us to conform to traditional timelines and milestones, it’s crucial to remember that love isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Real love respects the individuality of each person involved. It’s not about forcing a relationship into a predetermined mold but about nurturing it in a way that honors both partners’ purposes and visions.
Jay shares a poignant perspective on this: love is about learning from the other person and being open to change and growth. It’s about respecting what your partner values and how they evolve over time. This mutual respect and understanding are what make a relationship sustainable.
One of the most profound lessons from the podcast is the importance of truth in love. Real intimacy requires constant truth-telling, even when it feels risky. It’s about revealing deeper truths and being courageous enough to risk vulnerability. True connection thrives on this honesty and openness, setting both partners free to be their authentic selves.
As a society, we often romanticise love, overlooking the real work it takes to sustain it. We need to move beyond asking why someone isn’t married yet or why they haven’t followed a conventional path. Instead, we should hold space for people to live their truth, whatever that truth may be. Love is a deeply personal journey, one that should be respected and celebrated in all its unique forms.
Ultimately, love is not about fitting into a societal box. It’s about finding a partner who complements your journey and respects your individuality. It’s about creating a shared vision while honoring each other’s dreams and aspirations. So, let’s celebrate love in all its diversity, and let people’s hearts and choices be their own, free from judgment or expectation.
